when i received the news, i was liked stunned...i know EXACTLY how he feels right after received the news, his feeling when looked at his father and other families, his feeling at the graveyard, ucapan dan pandangan simpati dari orang ramai, then at the very first night after 'that' happens...i totally understand it...
i was only 12 when my father passed away, and my youngest sister was only 7...he died because of cancer..something related to ENT (ear nose throat thingy)...its been almost 14 years now and i still remember his last words, his gaze, and his jokes. after 'that' day my mum just stay in her room for 3 days, not even to keluar masak for us. kawan2 mak yg datang everyday and masakkan lauk and the funny things is i still remember lauk apa yg dia bagi hehe telur masak kicap...
the point is, i still remember every single detailed of the 'event'...how my father started showing sign of his illness and the last thing u know we were keep on going back to HKL for his chemo therapy. then slowly we were drifted apart. we were no longer allowed to play around or make noise because he need his rest and my mum were busy take care of him. we even hardly see him let alone to have a conversation...
he was the greatest, most loving father in the world. mak adalah definisi ibu yg garang dan abah sgt sporting dan loving. kalau demam pun abah yg jaga dgn manja, kalau dgn mak jgn harap mesti kene cubit sbb mengada2 (biasalah drama queen kan..) paling suka buat2 tertido depan tv sbb nnt abah dukung bwk masuk bilik. rutin pagi abah adalah subuh jemaah di surau (pagi2 sure dgr bunyi motor kapcai abah), then send us to school, then during lunch hour normally he will do the laundry (kitorg duduk kuarters coz he was h.a at local gov clinic) and do most of the chores. keje my mum ialah masak dan gosok bj sahaja. imagine after he left my mum dont know how to operate the washing machine...tu belum masuk cmne nk guna vacuum and nk keluar duit kat atm lagi...luckily she knows how to drive...
kalau nak cerita mmg takkan habis...belum masuk bad treatment from his family (yes, read my line his families..) lepas abah botak sebab chemo...we even make jokes how he look much like robocop bila dia bukak topeng besi tuh..hehe...after he left i cried almost every night and fell asleep hoping i'll dream about him that night. it wasn't easy for us. he wasn't there when my brother go to boarding school, masa saya daftar masuk u, during my convo, be my wali...
saya tak boleh bygkan adakah saya mampu utk lalui semua benda tu lagi...setiap hari berdoa mintak dijauhkan benda buruk pada keluarga dan kawan2 dan mohon semua org diberikan kesihatan yang baik...dan mintak mak dipanjangkan umur sampai sy betul2 mampu untuk berikan apa sahaja yang dia nak dan tak pernah dpt dulu just to fulfill her needy children (haha xde la)
life is so unpredictable..appreciate your loved ones while you can, time too short.
